Is Love A Choice?

Do we choose to love someone?

Glorious morning!

Today let’s expand on a quote from Gary Chapman.

“ Love is a choice you make everyday “

Gary Chapman was born in 1957 and is an American contemporary Christian singer songwriter and former television talk show host.

I do believe love is a choice and I also believe love is what we are. So if we are love, how is it a choice? Anytime we interact with someone, we either exchange love or have some form of disdain for them. We are either coming from our loving and peaceful self and in a place of acceptance of them or we are not. If we are not, then we are being nasty or rude or dismissive. So there seems to be a choice we make each time we interact with someone. If at our core we are love, then what happens when we are nasty to someone or judging them? Where is the love then? Where did it go?

If love is a choice then we would have to go within and find the answer to that question. If we are not coming from our natural state then something is diverting it. For example, let’s say someone woke up in a bad mood because the night before they were arguing with their significant other. They leave the house for work without having a resolution with their partner. They go into a convenience store to buy a cup of coffee and they are still brooding inside about the night before. They get in line to pay and get up to the cashier who smiles and says good morning. This is where a choice comes up. Choice number one, they choose to put aside their brooding feelings from their personal relationship, and greets the cashier from their natural state of love and say’s good morning back to them with a smile. That decision to not let their “ mood” divert them from expressing and giving back love to that cashier is a reflection of the cashier's natural state. Love was given by the cashier and love was returned back. Choice number two, they choose not to put aside their bad mood and choose not to say good morning, and do not smile back. The decision to not let go of their bad mood allowed them to take out their personal issues on someone who had nothing to do with it. No one deserves that.

Love is a choice that speaks loud in that situation. Choosing to love is something we are presented with multiple times a day, everyday. If we are not choosing love, then that needs fixing because we hurt ourselves when we hold on to things that drown out the love and we hurt others. Any negativity that we hold onto eventually affects our health if we don't do something about it. Choosing to love people despite our differences is a sign of emotional maturity. Being emotionally mature is achieved by realizing that we ourselves are not perfect and fall short sometimes. Holding people to standards that we ourselves do not keep and get mad at them is a sign of emotional immaturity. When I went through my divorce, I could have chosen to hate my spouse for things that he did and said that were abusive or mean throughout the marriage. I could have held onto that hate and let it fuel my fight with the lawyers. I chose to forgive and still love him despite our differences. Not carrying around that hate helped me become a better person. Not carrying around the hate helped me heal my own life and find peace.

Choosing love is always the better alternative. Choosing love honors who we really are. Choosing love is a gift to be given. Choosing love helps us to grow the love for ourselves. Each time we choose love, we raise the collective vibration of love on the planet. I choose love. How about you? Do you struggle choosing love when you feel offended? Do you lash out at people when they are not choosing to love you ? Backpack therapy can help identify why. Make a free discovery call today. Peace be with you, Dawn

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