Daily Spiritual Practice.

Daily connection is vital to progress oneself

Glorious Morning!

Happy New year 2025! I want to start the new year with a quote from Sri Yukteswar.

"Nothing matters except your steady, daily spiritual advancement “

I am starting out the new year with this quote because I believe it to be true. When I had what I call a “ Bathroom floor moment “ Or dark night of the soul experience back in 2006, I was at my wits end emotionally. I was at a point in my marriage where I was just hopeless. I was in such despair about our dysfunctional relationship that I ended up curled up on the bathroom floor with the door closed so my kids couldn't see, and was crying out to God. I was baffled at how my beautiful intentions to have a healthy marriage was not manifesting, in fact my soul was in turmoil.

At the time I did not realize I had entered the relationship with many warning signs that it was unhealthy, but ignored them in the name of “ Love “. There was a moment on that bathroom floor as I was asking God “ How am I in the same emotional state, with the same issues still playing out all these years later? As I got quiet and my tears were slowing down, I heard a faint still small voice say “ look in the mirror “ . I was being guided to just focus on myself and ask my own self how I got into the awful state that I found myself in. Well….. I was shocked and said to myself , “ but God he is doing such mean things and treating me horribly? I just kept hearing , “ look in the mirror, “ focus on yourself. Because the experience was so profound and clear that day in my bathroom, I took the advice and decided, well I can't control his actions or behaviors, but I can control my amount of engagement with him and I can control how I respond. So that's what I started to do.

I started withdrawing my time with him and was as calm and peaceful as I could be. If he acted up in front of the kids ( they were elementary school age at the time )I would simply move location with them and explain that daddy is struggling with his anger and we need to give him space so he can work it out by himself. I did this over and and over. There were times I would leave the house and just go to the park with the kids in order to avoid anything escalating and to protect the children from the abusive energy. This went on for 4 years. During that time, I had more time to myself because I would refuse to spend time with him unless he was being kind and respectful. I used that time to read and work on myself, I remember saying to myself, well, I can improve who I am and take better care of myself while we are in a separate state in the relationship.

After the four years things did improve as far as how we interacted. He was certain by then that I would not tolerate angry or bullying behavior because of my non involvement each time it would occur, so he knew if he had any chance interacting with me, he had to be calm and kind. ( you teach people how to treat you for sure! ) All of the years after that we learned how to interact with each other. There were still unhealed issues inside both of us from childhood and we ended up divorcing and have a respectful relationship and still love each other. When I decided on divorce four years ago, it was because of my daily spiritual dedication and seeking God's will. When I decided that day in my bathroom to listen to that inner small voice where God communicates with us, it guided me to a peaceful existence inside of me and has given me the courage to heal old negative chapters that got me in an unbalanced marriage to begin with. Through my daily spiritual practice and seeking guidance I am living a more authentic and empowered life.

In the perfect world we would have worked things out and  still be married, but we are not in a perfect world. That's why we need guidance. I am so grateful for my daily relationship with my creator and would never go back to the place where I was distanced from God. I am grateful for the experiences that have helped me grow into who I was always meant to be. A happy and healthy person with a zest for life.

Do you feel lost and confused about why you keep experiencing the same negative issues over and over? Backpack therapy can help clarify the dark stuff that needs clearing in order to move forward with your dream life. Peace be with you, Dawn

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