Are you a Suspicious person?

Glorious morning!

Today let's contemplate this quote from Angela Ahrendts.

“ Ask questions, don’t make assumptions “. 

Angela was born in 1960. She is an American-British business woman who was once the senior vice president of retail at Apple Inc. She was once ranked in Forbes 2015 of one of the most powerful women in the world.

What her quote says to me is, before you make a declaration of something or someone, investigate the truth and make sure what your saying is accurate. When something arises in life that leaves you questioning something, it's imperative to find the truthful answers. When we assume things without all the facts, we can wrongly accuse someone of something that is not true and that assumption might make you break off the relationship with that person.

Think about people who are in prison as we speak who should not be there because of insufficient investigation of the truth. Take for instance a true story of Lamar Johnson who was wrongly convicted for a murder that he did not commit and spent 28 years in prison. He was wrongly convicted at age 21 when a witness to the crime was pressured by law enforcement to identify Johnson as one of the killers. Assuming before having all of the facts can really destroy people's lives like something as tragic as Lamar Johnson's case.

It can also cause smaller incidents like getting angry at a driver who just floated into your lane and almost cutting you off and assuming the person did it on purpose to piss you off or assuming the person was texting and being irresponsible. It could have been the driver got a shooting pain in their chest or hot coffee spilled or even someone spilling over into their own lane and they swerved but you didn’t see that part of the equation.

Assuming before asking questions can be common with our relationships, especially strained relationships that are trying to heal. I know a couple where the husband cheated and was so very remorseful and trying desperately to right his wrong. In the beginning stages of the healing process, his wife understandably was still untrustful of him. One night he was on the phone and his wife walked in as he was getting off the phone. To the wife it looked like he got off because she came in the room so she automatically assumed he was on the phone with another woman. She was obviously triggered by the old incident of infidelity because as it turned out after getting upset, she asked questions. It was an old highschool buddy. Before she asked the questions her heart raced and she was filled with horror inside at the possibility of him cheating again. She asked him accusingly who he was speaking to and did not believe his answer at first. He calmly said, I was speaking with Tom, my friend from highschool who is in town and wants to see me and you and the kids. She then said I want to see the phone number and call him. The husband said instead of embarrassing yourself and me, how about I call him back with you here and I will ask him if it's ok that I make reservations at a restaurant for him and us for dinner on saturday night. She agreed, the husband called and reservations were made. The wife ended up apologizing and realized stepping back and NOT assuming can afford an opportunity to prevent emotional upset and further erosion of mistrust.

In many cases we waste time worrying before finding out the facts and most times finding out the facts requires some investigation and or questions. My car wouldn't start one morning before I was leaving for work . In my old skin I would have been upset and thought Oh God I wonder what this is gonna cost. I would have imagined the worst, like it was an internal problem with the car and it would leave me without the car for days and lots of money to fix. But the new me said, oh let me call my daughter for a ride to work and on the way to work I called my mechanically inclined son to have a look at it. I didnt think about the car all day because I didn't want to waste my energy thinking the worst when I didn't even know what the issue was. It turned out the night before I left my shifter in the drive position instead of park and in my particular car that leaves part of the system on and had completely drained my battery. My son removed the battery and charged it overnight and the problem was solved, minus the worry. It was a win win

.Are you an accusatory person due to past unresolved issues? Do you not trust people because of things that happened in your past and it strains your relationships? I can help. Make a free discovery call today. Peace be with you, Dawn

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